i'm a bastard and i deserve to die.

"people like you make individuals like me all the more jaded and give this whole-gay-falling-in-and-out love all fucked up. thanks for messing with my mind"
and yeah.. i know i'm shit.. coz i feel so.. a fucking liar.. and i had to mess your life too.. i'm very sorry. no... sorry doesn't even pass for a wird that could let me be forgiven. i can never be forgiven for what i did.. i know i'm audacious.. and it's my fault.. i had to set everything right once and for all.. and feelings hurt isn't something that i can prevent.. it has alot to do in making everything right.

"you think i'm just someone who could play with?"
i never wanted to.. i never intended to..

"you could have been honest that you are dating others"
and i thought it would only hurt you if i did.. but now it's worse.. now i wonder, why i couldn't do such a simple task..

" i more than hate you right now"
hating me won't do the trick.. you could kill me if you ant to.. just so i can make it up to you.. but here's something i want to tell you.. i really liked you. i made every second count.. coz you weren't really there. i never had time that i could spend with you and you didn't too.

i had to think. i had to choose. my choice involved someone getting hurt because of my audacity, infidelity, and dishonesty.. it involved you.. but that was my dilemma... i couldn't go on lying so that i couldn't hurt you.. i had to do it..

i'm sorry.. i am shit.. i'm a bastard.. i'm the worst... and i'll change.. this i promise.. it's the only thing that i can do to make it up to you.. to be a better person..

i liked you. i never lied about that. but it just so happens that i've fallen for someone else.. and with that person.. i know i can do it..

we'll learn from this. i will. i'm sorry. i don;t need to be forgiven.. have a nice life..

*i'm a bastard.. now everyone can hate me. it's alright.. i deserve it..